It's been a long time again, I know. We have been so busy this summer with school (for me), and work and trips with the church. We got back last week from Hume Lake, and it was a wonderful time! It is just beautiful up there, and so nice to get away from the distractions of everyday life. The theme was "All In." We went through the story of David and Saul, focusing specifically on the areas in our lives that we try to keep control of, or be the "king" of. It was definitely challenging. Our speaker was great. His name is Chris Brown, and he has such a unique way of presenting the Bible and he helped me gain a new perspective on stories I feel I have heard a hundred times. This week, we have been home and able to relax and enjoy a few quiet evenings together. On Sunday we leave for Road Trip with 23 of Josh's students. We will be heading up through San Fran, Sac and finally home to Susanville. It should be a good trip, and it will be so nice to be at home and see our family for a day or so. We are busy, but we are enjoying every minute, even though it is sometimes exhausting and stressful.
Lots has been going on for me personally too. I have been reading a book called Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. It is all about change and how it has affected her and what she has learned from the seasons of change in her life. It has been really eye-opening and challenging for me. I feel like the past few years of my life have been filled with constant changes. Some of them have been wonderful, like marrying Josh. Others have been incredibly difficult, like friends leaving, us moving, or the death of Auntie Sherry. If you know me, I am not really a fan of change, especially when I did not initiate it or when I am not in control of it. More importantly, I do not like the person I have become in response to the changes that have been happening. I know that changes happen for a reason. I know that they can help us grow and become better people, even when they seem scary or terrible.
As much as I dislike change, and the lack of control I feel when I am not in charge of the transitions in my life, I feel like I have been called to change. In the past couple of months, I feel like God is really challenging me to change the things about myself and my life that do not bring glory to Him. And there are a lot. I have realized that my response to change has been to become sarcastic, pessimistic, controlling, and bitter. And terribly afraid.
These are not traits that I am proud of, and I am ready to be rid of them. I am ready to change! I want to take the things I liked/like about myself and develop those things. I want to be more positive, and more uplifting. I want to be excited for my/our future. I want to be less lazy. I want to be free from the bitterness and fear that have kept me from being the person I know that God has called me to be. I am excited for the changes that will happen in me personally. For the first time, I am excited to let go of the reins and trust in who He is and what He has said and done for me. It will not happen over night, and it may be painful at times, but I AM READY.
"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7
No comments:
Post a Comment